Age.

Hello reader, 

I'm going to start off this possibly long and boring post with a quote from the movie The switch starring Jen Aniston, Jason Bateman and this kid.

Sebastian: Why wouldn’t anyone want people to know about their birthday? 

Wally Mars: Because getting old sucks. Most people don’t accomplish what they’d hope to and they realize that they are most likely not going to. They end up living these quite lives of denial, and uh… brushing birthdays under the rug just becomes a part of that. 

Age is a funny thing, it’s just a number yet it has such a profound effect on us. It determines dictates our every move, every decision and every thought. Why? Honestly, just like you, i’m still looking for that answer. 

20 years. That’s how long i’ve been roaming this earth. Frankly, I feel like I haven’t been making any progress and i’m wasting my time on whatever non-sense that I get myself into. Okay some of my twitter followers have this unhealthy obsession over this European boy band, One direction (1D). Hold on, before you get the wrong idea, what i’m trying to say here is they’re roughly (or exaclty?) around my age and they’ve achieved so much. Multi-million dollar endorsements and record deals and not to mention millions of adoring fangirls (& boys.) I know this sounds bias considering that i’m judging this based on the standpoint of fame but you get the notion. They’ve achieved what they set out to achieve. Have I?

Let me ask you. How many plans, hopes, dreams, ambition that you have actually fulfilled? Exactly.  Will I ever graduate the top of my class? Will I ever get a good job? Will I ever achieve a better future for myself? You see, everything boils down to the future. We’re living for the future; we go to school to be able to get into a good college to get the right qualification to get a good job in order to have a good life. We’re slaves for the future. And i’m not ready for the future. I’m not ready to grow up. I don’t want to grow up and realize that I’ll never achieve what I’ve hoped for. I keep saying to myself that everything will be okay, just like it did last time and the time before. But what if it never will? 

Okay, i'll stop. So the bottom line is I’m getting older and I’m not sure what I am doing. Excuse my pretentious suicidal-esque teenage rant.